By Evelyn Evans 
We’ve all heard it before: “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Or maybe you saw the book that promised, “Do what you love, the money will follow.” Even Lana Del Rey said, “Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.” But honestly? I’m not totally sold.
Don’t get me wrong—this kind of advice sounds amazing. It’s inspired many people (myself included) to chase their dreams and try to build a life around passion. And for some folks, it works out beautifully. This mindset has probably given us brilliant doctors, amazing filmmakers, life-saving inventions, and groundbreaking art—all thanks to people who didn’t listen when others told them to “be realistic.”
But the truth is, this advice doesn’t work for everyone. And pretending it does might be doing more harm than good.
For me, “do what you love” ended up looking like financial struggle and burnout. After ten years in marketing—a field I actually liked—I was overworked, mentally exhausted, and never making more than $50K a year, even as a director. I eventually quit to become a full-time writer, hoping it would finally be the dream. Instead, I spent all my energy trying to land paid gigs and had nothing left for the writing I actually cared about. Ironically, when I was still juggling a marketing job, I managed to write six books in two years. Since I quit? I haven’t finished one.
A lot of my author friends have had the same experience. The ones with steady jobs that don’t drain them are writing more books and creating more content. Meanwhile, those of us who went all-in on “doing what we love” are burning out and barely scraping by.
Why “Do What You Love” Falls Short
“Do what you love” sounds nice, but it doesn’t account for real-life obstacles. It skips over the economic and social factors that make following your passion a lot easier for some people than others.
If your parents help with your rent, or you don’t have student loans, or your passion happens to be something like programming or finance—it’s a different game. But what if you love poetry or painting? What if you’re part of a marginalized group or struggling with health issues, caregiving responsibilities, or lack of access to childcare? The playing field isn’t even.
With upward mobility in the U.S. at a historic low (only 45% of people born in 1980 out-earn their parents, compared to 93% of those born in 1940), a lot of us simply can’t afford to gamble on passion. Some people even see the whole idea as a “capitalist trap” that exploits our love for work to squeeze more labor out of us for less pay.
And it’s not just about money. Many of us are overworked, overstressed, and just plain exhausted. Even before COVID, the average American worked 47 hours a week—and 1 in 5 worked over 60. The World Health Organization has literally said that overwork is killing people. No wonder so many folks are walking away from jobs and rethinking what matters.
And let’s not forget: Some people never discover a “calling,” while others cling to one they’ve outgrown because they feel stuck. Turning hobbies into side hustles sounds empowering—until you start resenting what used to bring you joy.
Time for a New Motto: Build the Life You Want
Instead of chasing a dream job, what if we focused on building a life we love? That might mean following your passion as your career—but it could just as easily mean finding a job that supports the lifestyle you want.
I get it—some people would love nothing more than to ditch work altogether. But for most of us, not working isn’t an option. And studies show that while working too little can affect mental health, working too much does the same. There’s a sweet spot somewhere in between.
Enjoying your work is great, but job satisfaction also comes from what your job allows you to do. Maybe it’s the flexibility to pick up your kids from school, the paycheck that funds your weekend getaways, or the mental bandwidth to write, paint, or garden after hours. The “right” job might not be glamorous—it might just be the one that gives you time to breathe.
Let’s say you love travel, writing, and setting your own hours. The old advice would push you to start a travel blog and hustle until it pays. But maybe a better path is taking a part-time design job with remote flexibility, letting you explore the world while still paying your bills—and saving your creativity for passion projects on your own terms. Is it your dream job? Maybe not. But it supports the dream life. And that’s the point.
Sure, this isn’t always easy to pull off. It takes some hard questions and honest reflection. And systemically, we still need to confront things like racism, ageism, ableism, and other barriers that make it harder for many people to live life on their terms.
You’re More Than What You Do
Personally, figuring out the life I wanted meant taking stock of my values—freedom in my schedule, a neighborhood I could walk in, and time for creative stuff. I realized I’d be happier if I stopped trying to make a career out of what I loved most.
So my partner and I downsized. We sold our house, gave up my car, and moved to a smaller, more affordable area. It was the opposite of what society told us to do—but it made us much happier.
I also shut down my business, cut back on freelancing, and picked up a part-time job. It pays decently, is creatively fulfilling enough, and gives me the flexibility I need. No, it’s not “living the dream,” but it’s actually pretty great. I have more time, less stress, and my brain finally feels like it belongs to me again.
I’m not rolling in money—but I actually get to enjoy what I have. My relationships are better. My mental health is better. And, slowly but surely, my creativity is coming back.
Ten years ago, I would’ve called this “giving up.” But now I know better. We need to stop linking our identities to our careers and start encouraging people to design lives that make them feel good—not just jobs that look impressive on paper.
Because in the end, doing what you love should be about how you live—not just what you do for work.